Loose Thy Tongue
by Kelsey
Summary: While Buffy's on a case in LA, she goes to a bar and spots Angel. When alcohol loosens the vampire's tongue, a surprising secret is unveiled.
1. Chapter One

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Loose Thy Tongue

by

Princess McPhee

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Disclaimer: Not mine. Wouldn't even want, the way Joss and David have wrecked the characters and cast list. I'm so incredibly pissed about Tara!

Summary: When alcohol's loosens Angel's tongue, he releases a secret of immense proportions. B/A, set early BtVS S6/AtS S2, pre-Conner.

Rating: Don't know yet. G for now.

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Buffy walked into the bar, not quite sure what she was doing there. Heading to get a drink, she remembered that this wasn't the Bronze, and they'd probably card her rather than give her anything she wanted because of her reputation for saving Sunnydale. One of the few perks of being the Slayer. Sighing, she headed to a corner to see if she could find some guy to buy her a few beers without any questions. She didn't like being in LA, it was depressing, and she just wanted to get drunk so she could go back to the hotel and sleep through the last twelve hours before driving home to Sunnydale.

A familiar voice caught her attention, and she froze. Not quite wanting to believe her ears, and if she decided to believe them, not quite sure if this was a really good thing or a really bad thing or a little of both, she turned slowly to look over where the sound had come from. And yes, there was her ex, covered by some lithe woman with long legs in a little dress that she could never pull off. Buffy wanted to leave, but she couldn't seem to make her legs move, so she settled for pulling her body behind a pole and watching Angel from where he couldn't easily see her.

The woman all over Angel's lap was making her insanely jealous, and she just wanted to get out of there, but her body wouldn't cooperate with her mind. It was stuck, ruled by hormones and old memories and the sheer nearness of his imposing presence. So she watched, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. The woman on Angel's lap could probably be everything she couldn't: A nice screw without any worries about the curse. A release of tension he probably needed, but couldn't get from her, because it made him too happy. It was sadly ironic, Buffy thought often, that she and Angel couldn't be together because she made him _too_ happy.

Eventually, Angel pushed the woman off of him a bit, and spoke for the second time. The first time, he'd only been ordering a beer, and Buffy hadn't paid much attention to what he'd said. Now her ears were glued to every word that came out of his mouth, especially if it was directed at the brunette who'd been in his lap a moment ago. "I can't do this."

The brunette looked confused. "Why not?"

"I'm married."

Buffy's heart stopped. He was WHAT? When the hell had this happened? And why had no one informed her? And again, what the hell was Angel talking about? Her mind going around in circles, she tried to follow his conversation with the brunette woman, aware even through the haze of her confusion that this might be her best link to what was going on.

The brunette returned to her own seat, still looking confused, and Buffy watched, her tears drying, her astonishment overwhelming her hurt for the moment. "What are you looking for, then?" She heard the woman ask. "Some gals might do another woman's man, but I'm afraid I don't really go for that..."

Angel nodded. "I suspected as much."

Buffy almost smiled with the irony. Leave it to Angel to find the only semi-decent woman in a place like this. But there wasn't enough humor in her mind, and she couldn't. Instead, she just continued listening.

"We're... we're separated. For more than two years now. I thought I could do this... but I can't."

The woman looked disappointed, but she nodded. "I understand. She must be a lucky woman."

Angel looked saddened. "I wish she were."

Suddenly, something clicked in Buffy's mind. More than two years ago, she and Angel were still together. Had he been cheating on her? No. Angel wouldn't do that. She supposed it could have been the summer after they'd broken up, that was more than two years ago, but after they had broken up. After he'd left. He couldn't possibly be talking about her. They weren't married.

Slipping quietly out of the club, Buffy headed off to find Cordelia. Maybe the ex-cheerleader and Scooby could give her some insight where her eavesdropping failed.

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"He said WHAT?"

Apparently Cordelia was as shocked as Buffy. Strike one.

"That he was married. Separated for more than two years."

Cordelia shook her head, still in shock. "I have no idea what my insane ex-boss could possibly have been talking about."

Buffy shrugged. "That makes two of us."

Wesley appeared at the top of the stairs a moment later. "Oh! Hello, Buffy. I didn't know you were coming by."

Buffy smiled wryly and waved a greeting. "I didn't know either. Until I saw Angel in a bar and overheard him say that he was MARRIED."

Wesley reacted with the same shock both the girls had. "_What_?"

They both shrugged. "Buffy said he told this to some girl he brushed off in a bar, who was coming on to him."

Wesley looked a little more relaxed. "Oh. Are you certain that it wasn't just a way to get rid of the girl, then?"

Buffy nodded. "She seemed pretty decent. She left as soon as he asked, it wasn't like she was hanging all over him. For some reason or another, he meant it."

Wesley just stood there, his mouth hanging open like a fish.

Cordy grabbed Buffy's arm and pulled her into the kitchen. "C'mon. I'll make us some tea, and you can wait for Broody to come back."

Buffy smiled. "Do you call him that all the time?" She asked.

"What, Broody?"

Buffy nodded. 

"No. Only when he's not around, or he's being particularly incurable."

The Slayer grinned, sliding into the chair next to the Seer. "I think I like it."

"See? Now I can really tell Angel he's the only one who doesn't like it even the slightest bit."

Buffy grinned.

The door to the hotel slammed, and both girls started. Heavy footsteps stomped into the lobby, and Buffy stood and headed for the door, Cordelia right behind her. When she got closer, alcohol assailed her nose. "He's been drinking," She stated unnecessarily. 

Cordy wrinkled her nose. "I know. He smells like a brewery."

Buffy turned to look at Cordelia, she and the Seer still just out of sight of the vampire in the lobby. "Any idea why? He's not really a drinker."

She shrugged. "Not really. There was this thing with Wolfram and Hart a few days ago, where they had some telepath give me visions that happened to me-" She looked up at Buffy's confused expression. "Long story. Short story is, I kind of came uncomfortably close to dying. Painfully. He's been a little touchy for a few days."

Buffy nodded. "Makes sense."

Cordy shrugged. "Spose."

Buffy peered around the corner of the room, into the lobby, and caught sight of Angel. Looking him up and down a bit, she decided he didn't look half bad. She'd seen him recently, when they'd met up to reassure both of them that Buffy was alive, but still, in their business, a lot could change quickly.

Stepping into the room, Angel's head swiveled towards her nearly as quickly as she could put her foot down. On edge, his face was hard and looked almost menacing for a second, before he saw who it was. Then shock, laced with something else that Buffy couldn't pinpoint, took over. 

"What are you doing here?"

Buffy shrugged. "Long story. Why do you smell like you've been rolling in vodka? Demon crap I would understand, but what's with the alcohol?"

Angel shrugged back, mirroring her. "Long story."

Buffy put her hands on her hips. "I have time."

Short, and surprisingly curtly, Angel replied, "I don't," and stalked off into the bathroom.

Looking behind her to Cordelia, Buffy looked at her ex-enemy-slash-sort-of-friend. "What was _that_?" She asked.

Cordy shrugged. "What was what?"

Buffy looked incredulously at the Seer. "You didn't notice?"

Cordy shrugged again. "I noticed. Then filed it away as another 'Remember not to bother Angel' day. Nothing new."

"Nothing new? He does this a lot?"

"Does what? He's just being a grouch. Which is, as far as I can tell, his normal operating mode. Occasionally interspersed with 'overly protective'."

Buffy shook her head a little. "He never used to be like this with me."

"He's drunk. Maybe he's just expressing a little... hidden sentiment."

"Maybe."

She looked at Cordy for a moment, then made her decision. "I'm going to talk to him."

"Now? In the bathroom?"

She shrugged. "Why not? He's just hiding in there."

"How can you tell that? Wait, I didn't mean that. I don't want to know about the inner workings of vampire-human bonds. I hear enough of that on a daily basis from Wesley. Go right ahead and talk to him. Be my guest. Just don't blame me if you get thrown out on your ass."

Buffy ignored her, and stalked over to the closed bathroom door. When she shoved it open and entered without the Seer hearing any indignant noises of privacy interrupted, she shrugged and went back to her work. Whatever lover's spat that Buffy and Angel wanted to have, she damn well wasn't going to get in the middle of. She'd learned her lesson about that a long time ago.

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Angel was staring at the mirror where his reflection should have been when Buffy shoved the door open. He looked up, startled, but didn't say anything. She entered the room without asking permission, and shut the door solidly behind her, locking it so that there wouldn't be any interruptions.

"Okay. Obviously, you don't want to talk, so I'll do the talking." She paused to look at her ex-lover, and then looked down at her shoes as she saw the love still reflecting in his eyes. Being together was always so awkward for them. "I'm on a case, here in LA, and I was at a bar, looking for a little alcoholic release from my worries so that I could sleep. There I saw, you guessed it! You!"

Angel tried to catch her eye. "Buffy... It wasn't what it looked like..."

Buffy finally looked straight at him. "Yes it was. And you're allowed to have that, Angel. It's not my right to be jealous, anymore. But that's not the point."

Angel looked puzzled. "What is the point, then?"

"I saw you brush her off."

Angel opened his mouth to speak, but Buffy put up a hand and cut him off. "I heard you tell her you're married."

Angel's face didn't display any sense of emotion for a long moment. Then, "I didn't mean it."

"Yes, you did." Buffy looked up at him, using her eyes to plead with him, beg him to respect her enough to tell her the truth. "I know you well enough to tell when you lie, Angel."

He didn't bother to deny it. Instead, he just waited while the silence grew heavier, as Buffy looked up at him, hoping she wouldn't have to ask the next question on the tip of her tongue.

"Who was she, Angel?" Half-hoping that it wasn't her, so she could go along with her delusion that Angel could be happy without her, half-hoping it was her, in some strange, impossible way, because she wasn't sure she could survive knowing that Angel could go on living without her.

Angel looked a little startled as she asked. "It could never be anyone else, Buffy."

Not wanting to believe her ears, she ignored him as much as she could. "Who?"

He looked at her, staring deep into her eyes with wide, chocolate brown ones of his own. "You, Buffy. There hasn't been anyone since you that I would ever, in a million years marry."

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	2. Chapter Two

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Loose Thy Tongue

by

Princess McPhee

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Disclaimer: Not mine. Wouldn't even want, the way Joss and David have wrecked the characters and cast list. I'm so incredibly pissed about Tara!

Summary: When alcohol's loosens Angel's tongue, he releases a secret of immense proportions. B/A, set early BtVS S6/AtS S2, pre-Conner.

Rating: Don't know yet. G for now.

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Buffy's gaze fell to the floor, not quite sure what to say. How the hell were she and Angel married? Slowly, she voiced that thought. "H-how, Angel?"  


Angel reached into his pocket and pulled something out, keeping his eyes from hers the whole time, clearly sheepish about something. He reached out and placed something she hadn't seen in a long time in her hands: his claddagh ring. Buffy looked at it, not quite sure what he was trying to say.

"It's a bonding ring, Buffy. Not quite the same as marriage, but held in almost as high a regard during my time in Ireland. Couples wearing claddagh rings were treated as though they were married, except that the girl wasn't allowed to leave her father's house until they actually were."

Buffy shrugged. "So, it's a bonding ring. How did that turn into marriage?"

Angel looked back down at the floor. "We made it into a marriage, Buffy. We exchanged vows of love and... consummated our marriage that night. That made it into a marriage, at least in the eyes of 1770's Ireland."

Buffy nodded. "But 1770's Ireland doesn't have a lot to do with the real world, Angel."

He nodded, and smiled awkwardly. "But it's always meant a lot to me." He met her eyes quickly, as if afraid of her reaction. "There's more."

Buffy sighed, not quite sure how to react. Sure, she was upset that he hadn't told her the significance of the claddagh ring to him, but would it really have mattered? And if it had mattered, wouldn't it have just muddied the works even more? It was probably better this way. But more? "What?"

He reached out and touched her neck simply, running his fingers gently over the scar on her neck. The simple action made her shiver, but she tried to conceal it from his sight. He caught it anyway, and smiled down at her. "It's a mark, Buffy."

She looked at him, not quite sure what he meant, sure that it was more than that simple fact. "What do you mean?"

"Your other scars fade, Buffy. This one never has... and never will."

"I noticed that it didn't fade. I always figured it was because I was so weak when it happened."

Angel shook his head, the pain in his eyes evidence of what that day had taken out of them both. "You were fine pretty quickly, Buffy. When that bite was less than a day old, your healing capacities were up to their usual strength."

Buffy didn't tell him that she'd always figured the bite hadn't healed because she _hadn't_ been up to strength- but it didn't have anything to do with Angel's bite. She'd always secretly believed that it hadn't healed over because she was grieving too hard. She knew that mental health had an effect on physical health, and she figured that was what happened. But she just looked up at Angel, and said "Why, then?"

"It's a long story."

Buffy put her hands on her hips and looked up at him, telling him through body language that he better not even be _thinking_ about not telling her, and he sighed and continued.

"Vampires secrete three kinds of saliva: a thin saliva that is around every day in our mouths and a semi-anticoagulant, a thick, pasty saliva that closes wounds on both vampires and humans almost instantly, and a third, a 'marking paste'.

"Marking paste is made of our blood and saliva, and it's forcibly pushed into an open wound when the vampire is finished feeding. It's most commonly used on minions and human slaves, to keep other master vampires from stealing them. But it's also used on mates, in which case it translates into the closest thing vampires have to marriage. I marked you." He stopped talking and just waited for this to sink in.

Buffy just stood there for a noticeable period of silence, and Angel was starting to get nervous when she finally spoke up again. "So, you're telling me that we're married, in pretty much both the Irish and the vampire worlds?"

Angel just nodded, noticing her quiet calm and waiting for her real reaction.

"And you didn't feel the need to tell me?"

The vampire winced. This was not going in a good direction. "When I marked you... I wasn't in my right mind. And then I left right afterwards. It would have only caused more heartache."

Buffy looked at him and nodded again, still strangely calm. Angel, unaware of what he was doing, stood at the ready on the balls of his feet, his weight balanced in a classic fighters stance with his feet apart. Nervously, he awaited her next question.

Instead of asking anything else, she snickered. Softly at first, and the vampire wasn't quite sure if he'd heard right, but then harder, again and again until she was doubled over laughing. Angel just waited, an awkward smile spread across his face, not quite sure what was going on.

When Buffy finally got it together, she stood up and faced him, wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes. "You... you..." She gasped.

Angel's awkward smile widened a little. "I'm glad I'm sure a source of amusement."

"No... not that... it's just that... you look like you're going to battle, and all we're trying to do is have a conversation!"

Angel's smile turned sheepish at that, and he readjusted his stance. "Sorry about that. I was just afraid you were going to be so mad and throw me out of your life..."

Buffy turned serious as she heard his fears. "I could never do that, Angel," She told him softly, her eyes full of her love, the same love that his eyes always held and neither of them could do anything about. Then her expression hardened a little, and she shook a finger playfully at him. "But that doesn't mean I'm not mad at you!"

Angel nodded sagely. "What kind of punishment do you think I deserve, oh Slayer of my heart?"  


Buffy gazed up at him, rather amazed he'd pulled that off with a straight face, and then caught his eye and it was all over, the playfulness down the drain in a split second. "Angel..."

He'd caught up with her quickly, and understood that they were no longer playing. "Buffy, I'm so sorry. There just never seemed a right time to tell you..."

She shook her head. "No... I mean, I'm still upset and all, but this isn't about that. You thought you did what was right."

Angel still thought he'd done what was right. But he wasn't about to tell her that. If she thought he'd discovered the error of his ways now and was sorry for keeping it from her, let her think that. There was enough to be upset about right now, without him throwing the fact that he would have kept this a secret until one of them met their grave for real into the works.

"What is it, then?" He asked gently. 

Buffy shook her head a little, looking slightly dazed and more than a little confused. "I think... I need to think about this for a little while," She told him. "I'm just going to go back to my hotel... I'll come by in the morning."

Angel gestured towards the stairs. "You could stay here if you want. This place used to be a hotel, there's about a hundred rooms. Fifteen or twenty have working bathrooms and stuff."

Buffy looked at him, and smiled. "Thanks, Angel. But I think I better go back to the hotel... the one that's still a hotel," She clarified.

He nodded. "Alright. I'll see you in the morning?"

She stepped into the doorway, and nodded back. "See you then."

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When Buffy arrived the next morning, Cordy was waiting. Clearly excited by something, she pointed Buffy up the stairs and to the left with more than her usual enthusiasm. As the Slayer cleared the top step, though, the Seer called out to her. "Oh, Buffy?"

She stopped, and turned to face her former friend and foe. "Yeah?"

"He's asleep. He said to show you in when you got here, though, he wants to see you."

Buffy nodded, a little confused. "Thanks... Cordelia." Then, muttering under her breath, she continued the sentence. "I think."

Working with mixed feelings about this, Buffy knocked on Angel's door and waited. Within a minute came the sleepy reply. "Come in!"

Turned the knob, Buffy slipped into the room without a sound. Angel sat in bed, wearing black boxers and a black t-shirt, barefoot and rubbing his eyes, his hair sticking up in all directions. She smiled at him, the sight bringing back memories, some pleasant and some... not so pleasant. She shook her head to clear it, and met his eyes. "Good morning. Sorry I woke you up."

He shook his head. "I wanted to see you. It's just been busy lately... I thought I'd catch a nap while I could." He stood, and motioned to the door. "Want to go get something to eat?"

Buffy shook her head, standing firmly where she had when she'd entered the room. Angel finally caught up on her vibe, and returned to the bed, patting a spot next to him in an invitation for her to join him. She did, but not where he'd gestured. The Slayer sat a half a foot farther down, keeping a large space between the ex-lovers, and didn't look at him.

"Buffy... I just have to say again, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. There just never seemed to be a time, and then we were trying so hard to get on with our lives, and it seemed wrong to throw a wrench into the works, even if you deserved to know the truth..."

Buffy held up a hand, and, surprised, the vampire stopped. "I know all that, Angel."

He nodded slowly, and looked at her. "Well... not to infer the wrong thing, I love your company," they shared a sad smile at that, "but what did you come here to talk about, then?"

Buffy twisted her hands a little in her lap, avoiding his eyes again. "I didn't. I came here to say good-bye."

Angel's face showed his surprise. "You're not staying?"

She shook her head. "This is all really confusing, Angel, and I need to figure out what it means to me... but it's not going to change anything, is it?" She looked up at him, a pleading look on her face, as though asking for him to fix it, _make_ it change something. He shook his head sadly.

"Then it's all really in my head. And I can work those out at home, where I can take care of Dawn and stay active about slaying."

The vampire nodded slowly. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry that you have to go," he told her. "I know it's hard for us to be together... but I miss you. Come and visit me sometime?"  


She looked at him sadly. "Maybe. I don't think so, though."

He nodded. "I understand."

Standing in the doorway, she gave him a long look, filled with emotion, and stepped into the hallway. Holding herself carefully together, she said good-bye to Cordy, waved to Gunn, and left the old hotel.

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Sunnydale welcomed her home, and Buffy returned to slaying as quickly as she could, satisfied that everything had taken care of itself at least reasonably well in her absence. Sitting on her sister about school proved to be a full-time job, but at least Dawn was passing all her classes again. Willow was doing better, if not looking better, and Tara kept stopping by to get Dawn and take her places, so Buffy was fairly sure that the spat they'd had about Tara moving out was over.

Spike only showed up once, and Buffy let him into to talk to Dawn, but didn't allow him to ask for anything more. He looked a little disappointed, but had whispered something about 'waiting forever' in her ear as he left. For a split second, she felt incredibly sorry for him, knowing that she would, that she _could_, never love him. But she'd told him again and again, it wasn't her fault if he didn't get it.

_Though maybe you aren't helping by leading him on,_ a little voice in the back of her head mentioned. She grimaced at the thought of that ill-fated kiss after the damn singing demon played his little trick, and wished she could take it back. She took treating Spike cruelly for granted, he _was_ a demon, but she really didn't have any desire to mess with his feelings any more than she apparently already was.

She told no one about her little visit with Angel, but they noticed something was off, anyway. She was distracted while slaying, in 'brood' mode more often than usual according to Willow, and, Dawn told her, 'just plain kinda sulky.' Still, she just brushed them off for as long as possible. After all, this thing between her and Angel, it was just that. Between her and Angel. As much as her friends wanted to help, they really couldn't, and she didn't want any more opinions messing up her already tangled thoughts.

So, when Willow called Angel Investigations one day to see if Wesley could help her with some research, she got a rather shocking surprise.

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